Friday, July 17, 2009

Should I have a baby after 35?
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moodythat sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? !
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural.
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant?
Q: Is there any reasonI have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.?
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?A: Yes, pregnancy.Q: Do I A:have to have a baby shower?
Q: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week.When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.



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http://www.shani4u.blogspot.com


Cool Meanings * FUNNY HUMOR*
Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other

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Love affairs:Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

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Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and awoman gains her master

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Divorce:Future tense of marriage

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Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer tothe notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

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Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes hegot the biggest piece.

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Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower..

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Dictionary:A place where divorce comes before marriage.

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Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagreeslater on.

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Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have neverfelt before.

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Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.

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Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

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Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

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Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

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Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide thatnothing can be done together.

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Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.

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Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.


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Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

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Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actuallylook forward to the trip.

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Opportunist:A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


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Optimist:A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I amnot injured yet.

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Pessimist:A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of thefirst letter in word OPPORTUNITY

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Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

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Father:A banker provided by nature.

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Criminal:A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

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Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

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Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

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Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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